i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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