I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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