i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
