So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Pants are for mortals
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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