Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
