i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
