Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
