I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
