I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
