just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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