Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
