I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize