went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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