I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
