she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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