I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
