Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
