I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
