who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
