...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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