So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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