absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
