dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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