ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
