theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
