So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im holly from the hills drunk
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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