ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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