I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
