Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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