Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
