bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize