O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
