I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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