Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
