I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
