Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i used baking grease as lip gloss
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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