This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
