i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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