batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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