He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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