The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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