just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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