then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
