I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
accomplished twins. life is a go
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.