What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me