I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
