I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?