the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
