I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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