I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
