any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
