DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
only if we run a train.
done.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize