Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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