Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Say something about gay babies.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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