Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
