omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize