Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
