Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize