you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
