I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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