Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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