I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
